This Is Killing Me

 I don't wanna do anything. I'm exhausted.

I hate myself, and hate everyone so bad. 

I don't wanna live anymore. It makes me feel like I'm in hell.

It'd maybe better if I were really in hell. 

I can't quit... I can't runaway. 

I'm forced to stay.

How can I be happy? Noway. It's no way. 

I don't wanna be happy anymore. I just need to be out of this place, out of this fate, out of everything. 

I don't care about happiness or meanings of life.

I know I'm nothing. I'm not loved or I cannot feel it at least. But there are many peoples I love.

Now, I just wanna trade the whole years I lived to a prayer and give to my lovers. 

If that can happens...

Even if I completely disappear, and nobody knows me, and nothing from me exists, I'll still smile. 

I want to die, forever. And never be born again.